While other little girls wanted to be Belle or Ariel, I wanted to be a sexy, man-eating, noir film-esque, screen siren cartoon character. Or Miss Piggy.
That might just say something about me as a person.
I try not to think about it too much.
The problem is, while I don't want to look like a pink muppet pig anymore, I would still would kill to look like this:
However, I'm shaped (and probably act, but that's up for discussion) much more like the lovely Olive Oyl.
My favorite comment so far? My manager at work told me that if they ever make a live-action film of Popeye, she would nominate me to play Olive.
Thanks. I think.
But hey, there are worse things in life than being very tall, lanky, and slightly awkward.
And that all of my best boys have been much shorter than me and on the stocky side. Yay Popeyes.
So what's a girl to do when she wants to be a screen siren bombshell but is shaped like a string bean?
Or is a big curvy girl, but wants to emulate the whippet thin rock-chicks?
Or is definitely petite, but wants to be a tall, regal gypsy/boho free-spirit?
You make it work, because the silliest thing I've ever heard is that "I'm too _______ to look like that."
Let's take my dilemma for example, and ways that I make it happen sans plastic surgery.
Beauty
Nice thing about faces, they all pretty much come with standard gear. So why not copy the beauty look of the style you want?
I can dye my hair red and can pretty closely copy her Victoria Lake hairstyle with a few bobby pins and a good hair dryer. I wear falsies for going out or rely on Fiberwig mascara during the day. Plus, I've mentioned my passion for a great red lipstick.
Iconic Items
These would be the items that "make" a look. Rockers have their leather jackets, hippies their peasant skirts, and for mine?
Since I can't wear a sparkly formal gown to class, I'd say fishnets, vintage fur, trench coat, great pair of heels, red formal wear, and a focus on body-conscious tailoring and minimalism (her only two accessories are a pair of long gloves and gold studs). All of these are things that are in the style of the 1940's/50's, and that I can do without having Jessica's curves.
Get in the Spirit
There are still certain things that get in the way of adopting a style. Like rules for social conduct. Or my lack of DD boobs. And that's okay. These are images we're talking about. We just want the essence of their style, not to copy their wardrobe.
So if I had to describe the essence of Jessica's style it would be sultry, dangerous, slinky, and sex-appeal.
Translation:
sultry= a dosage of black eyelashes and red lipstick goes a long way.
dangerous= my beloved thigh-high boots and collection of leather jackets, corset belts, and second-skin pencil skirts.
slinky= I try and keep things tailored, body-conscious, and tactile. Silks, chiffons, lace, leather, cashmere... anything I want to rub my hands all over is a go.
sex-appeal= I don't have the cleavage to bare, but damn if I don't have a close match to her legs and tiny waist. Thank you mini-skirts, platform stilettos, and high-waists.
And of course, I have a few tricks up my sleeve for making some believable curves with belts, high-waisted skirts/pants and high necklines.
I still refuse to wear those push-up bras or ridiculous padded underwear though. :)
And one thing that has nothing to do with the genetic lottery? Attitude.
And that's something that everyone should have a heaping dose of.
And just for more Jessica Rabbit fun, her rendition of "Why Don't You Do Right?"
Originally sung by Peggy Lane in 1942.
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