By Rote

There are a few phrases that I find myself saying over and over again while I'm at work.
It seems there are a few style and/or shopping rules that women still don't understand, so just for fun and giggles me and my fellow sales girls have compiled a few of our favorites:

"Do you want to look good or do you want to look skinny? No, they are not the same thing"

"Don't look at the size tag. DON'T LOOK AT THE SIZE!"

"Yes, brown is a neutral. So is black and navy. Yup, white too. Yes you can mix them all together. Yes, even black and brown."

"IT DOES NOT HAVE TO MATCH. No, not even your eyeshadow to your top. None of it has to match, I promise."

"No, you cannot wear a white bra with a white (semi-sheer) t-shirt. Your underwear does not have to match your clothing either. Can I introduce you to a thong and a nude bra?"

"Gold and silver jewelry goes with everything in this store. Yes, I promise, everything. And once again, it does not have to match."

"No, you do not need to buy a complete outfit every time you shop. Can you pair this item with three things in your closet? You don't know what's in your closet? Honey, you really shouldn't be shopping then."

"What do you wear this with? Um... anything you'd like."

"Ma'am, wearing two sizes larger than you should will not disguise the fact that your overweight. Yes, in fact it makes you look bigger. Why don't we get something that fits?"

"That being said, we do not do sausage casings either. Why don't we try something that fits?"

"It's not going to be flattering, it's going to be artsy."

"Yes, you really do have to try it ALL on before you buy it."

"No I do not know when this will go on sale. No I cannot hold it for you until it does. You do realize there is a possibility that it will not be here in your size when it does go on sale and I will not be the one who will call up every store in the area to hunt it down for you? Okay, lets make this real easy. How much do you actually want this?"

"Ma'am, can I get you a size before you tear through my nicely folded pile of t-shirts in search of an x-large (which will be at the bottom, I can assure you. I just folded them)? No really. Let me get you the size."

"Yes, dresses are in style. So are pants. Jackets? Yup. Still in fashion. They've kind of been a big deal since we stopped wearing dead animal pelts."

"No, you DO NOT need to wear a matching suit to your interview. In fact you can wear a dress. Yes, really, you can wear a dress."

"No you are not to old/young/fat/thin/curvy for a dress. Wanna know why? Because dresses are made for women. We've kind of been wearing them exclusively for the past 3,000 years."

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